The Sasuke Uchiha Ninja Show
by Jelly McTosh
Summary: Basically the Rocky Horror Picture Show replaced with the Naruto characters! The story is told via Kakashi who is the Narrator of the entire tale! Has some strong language!
1. Cast List

**Dr. Frank-N-Furter**: Orochimaru

**Janet Weiss**: Sakura

**Brad Majors**: Naruto

**Riff-Raff**: Kabuto

**Magenta**: Tayuya

**Columbia**: Ino

**Dr. Everett Scott**: Sarutobi

**Rocky Horror**: Sasuke

**The Criminologist**: Kakashi

**Eddie**: Jiraiya


	2. The Opening

_Church bells sounded threw the village of Konoha on what seemed a normal Friday morning. The pair of newly weds, Asuma and Kurenai Sarutobi, danced out the church with a precession of villagers following behind, happily congratulating the pair. A young boy in an orange jumpsuit strolled over to the groom._

"Asuma-sensei! Congratulations!" exclaimed the young blonde spiky haired boy shaking the bearded mans hand enthusiastically.

"Thank you Naruto, I just wonder how everyone knew me and Kurenai were a couple" smirked the man looking at his blushing new wife as she gathered the female villagers to throw her bouquet.

"I know what you mean," laughed Naruto, "The long walks alone, the presents, the blushing when seen together, nothing suspicious about that!"

The pair laughed while watching Kurenai throwing the poppies she had behind her into the crowd of women. Two girls managed to catch them at the same time, both their faced filled with the hatred for one and other.

"So Naruto, any of those girls take your fancy?" laughed Asuma as he got into a car.

"Not really" exclaimed Naruto, "Wait! When did we get cars?"

"Ha! We have computers so why can't we ninja have cars? Well, good luck!" cried Asuma as he started the car. Kurenai ran over and jumped into the other seat.

"Asum…" began Naruto however it was too late, the car sped away into the distance as the crowd began to depart.

"Naruto!" cried a grisly feminine voice from behind him, "Look at the lovely flowers!"

"Oh yeah, they are… nice?" sighed Naruto starting at the mauled poppies Sakura held, she seemed very happy with herself, "Well, we better get going."

_Psss… Naruto! Your meant to propose!_

"Kakashi-sensei? Is that you? Where are you?"

_Off course it's me! I'm in the sky!_

"You're dead?"

_Did you not see me in the latest chapters? I was all dead and then BAM! I'm back bitches! _

"Okay… Sakura, I think Kakashi-sensei has gotten drunk again" whispered Naruto into Sakura's ear.

_What the fuck did you just say?!?! That had better be a proposal or I'm sending you back to the Academy!_

"Erm…yeah, I proposed we go on a mission together to infiltrate the sound village!"

_  
Not what I meant but yeah it will do! At least I don't have to hear Sakura singing that love song! God, even the Akatsuki would run at the sound of it! It worse than her speaking! _

"My singing isn't…"

_  
That voice, I want to rip my ears off!_

"KAKASHI!!!" screamed Sakura, the anger burned in her eyes.

"Saku…" attempted Naruto however his cheek met with the terrifying force of Sakura's fist and flung him into the air.

_Well done Sakura! Now that's the chakra control I taught you! _

"Do you want me to hit you?"

_No, now get Naruto and run, run like aeroplanes cause that's how all ninja run!_

"Do we have to?" sighed Sakura.

_  
Do I have to repeat myself?_

"Fine," sighed Sakura as she walked over to the broken heap which was once Naruto. She picked it up and dragged it towards the entrance and out of sight.

_  
Okay, now where did I put that script…ah! Here it is! Okay, let's begin. I would like if I may... wait, who wrote this crap? I'm not saying this!_

"Asuma?" interrupted a calm voice in the direction of the main gate. It was Kurenai, "Asuma where are you?"

_Kurenai? Why are you still here?_

"Kakashi?" questioned the young woman, "Do you know where Asuma is?"

_Asuma is dead; he was such a lame character he died in a car crash! He didn't deserve that cool death via Akatsuki's Grim Reaper! Your also either pregnant or extremely fat now but don't worry, Shikamaru will be your knight in shining armour and help you... What the hell are you crying for?_

Kurenai had fallen to her knees in a flood of tears, "He was just here a minute ago! How could this have happened so fast?"

_Kurenai, this is anime. He dies when I want him to! He was only a minor character so he died unseen and unheard; at least he got to have a conversation with Naruto! Only the awesome characters like me survive! Did you see me in the latest chapters? I was all dead and then I beat the reaper and came back! See…_

"WHY!?" interrupted the grief stricken woman, "WHY?"

_Hey! Bitch! Up here! I'm the narrator, I'm like a god! You have no importance in this story so go a…_

"ASUMA!"

_That's it! Raikiri! _


	3. Scene 2

_I'm forcing you to be taken on this strange journey! Two young ninja, Naru…_

"Kakashi? Are you talking about that strange journey you had with Iruka-sensei?" quizzed Naruto.

_Yes, that strange journey holds so much importance to this story. _

"Whatever…"

_So, as I was saying before getting rudely interrupted, your coming on a strange journey with me, you have no choice all you'll meet a fate lamer than Asuma's! During this normal stormy ninja night, the two young ninja, Naruto the stupid and Sakura bitchy face are running like airplanes towards the Village Hidden in Sound. However, they run out of fuel, no, chakra! This stops them from airplane running as only cool people with chakra can do that!_

"Naruto, I'm out of chakra and soaking wet!" cried the young pink haired girl.

_Now is your chance Naruto! You can have some fun with her and the rain will wash away the evidence against you!_

"Are you okay sensei? You're kind of acting weird and suggesting things a sensei should never say."

"Naruto! Ignore sensei! We have to find shelter or we'll freeze to death! We as the main characters cannot die so lamely!"

"Okay Sakura-san!"

_Did that bitch just say ignore me Naruto? Hey Naruto? NA-RU-TO? Damn it, fine. Go back and up the creepy pathway and see if I care when you go in the underground castle! I'm going to go get some dango!_

"Underground Castle? That sounds a great place to hold a plot, believe it!" cried Naruto as he walked in the direction he had just came.

"Naruto, please never say that again…" sighed Sakura as she followed close behind.

"It sure is quiet without sensei, maybe we were too harsh?" suggested Naruto as they turned into the creepy path way they had been told about

"Yes, maybe…" agreed Sakura, her hair was sticking to her face, "maybe I should sing to fill the void?"

"Okay, I'm just going to look over there!" rushed Naruto as he started to run a distance from Sakura.

"Okay!" Sakura took a deep breathe and…

_Hey guys! I'm back! _

"Kakashi? You came back to hear me singing didn't you?" gleefully chirped Sakura.

_No bitch, I just wanted to fuck with the pair of you more! Who would want to hear your screeching anyways! I bet that's why Sasuke left, being force to learn yaoi positions is better than that!_

"No way! Sasuke is too awesome for yaoi, I mean, who wants to see a NaruSasu finale anyways! SasuSaku is way better!" dreamed Sakura.

"SAKURA! I FOUND THE UNDERGROUND CASTLE!" exclaimed an excited Naruto, "Oh, your back sensei?"

_Damn straight I am! Do you think anyone is honestly interested in a solo by Sakura? I mean, she's too useless to be classed as lame! Anyways, both of you go get in the tunnel. I don't know if you'll survive but what the hell, it'll be fun to watch!_

"Okay sensei! Don't worry about us, we'll survive, BELIEVE IT!" chirped Naruto as he grabbed Sakura and ran off into the direction which he had just been to.

_Sadly for me, I wish I didn't believe it. Anyways, back to work! *cough* Our two lone ninja dash towards the creepy and dangerous looking entrance to the underground castle hoping to rest and regain some chakra! As for me, I think I'll go on a date with Anko, that girls mean and it makes me keen!_


End file.
